Becoming My Own Beloved
Last week was a bad body week for me. You know the kind I’m talking about. Suddenly the outfit I was totally happy with in the AM felt all wrong by the PM; I had massive bloaty-belly syndrome for most of the week (classic stress response for me); and I felt my body was taking on proportions and shapes that were more alien than human (body dysmorphia learned from years of dieting in full effect). I just wanted to be at home, hiding in my sweats, not thinking about what I looked like, calming my tummy. Yep, even the most ardent of body-acceptance advocates can have a bad body day (or days, in my case).
Hey, it happens. I’ve accepted my body, mentally and physically uncomfortable days and all. I have so much appreciation for the process of learning to accept my body as is and what that acceptance has given me. Thinner-and-afraid former me wouldn’t be doing what I am doing now – putting myself way the hell out there with this blog, hosting a podcast, and writing for a magazine – because I was so afraid of losing even one ounce of acceptance from others. It’s much harder to take big leaps when you’re in constant fear-mode.
So it’s nice to not care nearly as much about acceptability to others. But I am still my harshest critic. I hide a lot in photos for fear of what my own personal inner critic will say. I sometimes even hide from mirrors in public (I’m completely cool with my home mirror, don’t ask me how that works), or my reflection in windows. I’m still not entirely familiar with this new, non-dieted body, and I could use some help.
That’s why I’m excited about this week’s Dietitians Unplugged Podcast. Aaron and I interviewed the very cool, very awesome Vivienne McMaster of Be Your Own Beloved. Vivienne helps others learn to love themselves through photography. I love taking photos, so this is something I can totally get behind. We were both so into this idea that we decided to join Vivienne’s July 1 class, and we’re inviting our listeners to join along with us. Let’s go on this awesome body-love journey together.
Enjoy this week’s podcast. It was one of our favorites. And hope to see you in the next Be Your Own Beloved class!
Listen to Dietitians Unplugged Episode 10 – Be Your Own Beloved with Vivienne McMaster here:
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Good read!
“But I am still my harshest critic. I hide a lot in photos for fear of what my own personal inner critic will say.”
I don’t have body image issues at all, I have a great figure (I am 43, but look 43, and I love it), and a healthy body. Yet, I have the exact same feelings that you described. My inner critic is, pardon the French, a bitch.
That you for sharing. Lately, I’ve been watching Grace and Frankie on Netflix, and I noticed how food obsessed Grace is. She’s so tiny, and she eats almost nothing for fear of getting fat. Frankie eats all the time, especially emotionally, but she is no fatter than Grace. I realized that while I love this show, even 70-year-old old ladies can make me feel ashamed of my body. It’s nice to hear a dose of reality every so often. Thank you! Also, I got a subscription to the new magazine for whom you’re writing.
Yes, it’s such a shame that TV and movies insist on shoving this BS down our throats. Imagine a TV show where the female characters don’t once comment on either fear of food or fat?? Hope you enjoy the magazine! Be sure to give feedback on their FB page – I think they will appreciate that from readers.
[…] also really enjoyed this podcast featuring two fellow health at every size RDs Glenys O and Aaron Flores (their sites here and here) […]